Performance
Pressure on show and adopted styles.
Watch
Big Brother or any film or soap television show in any country.
What
are they like? Frequently blows hot or cold? Always in the fast lane, competitive,
high achieving, always on the go? No time to stop, running everywhere, working
late. Juggling social life, home life, work, study. Disorganized, often
late, always on the scrounge? Feeling pressured, constantly under strain,
tense, jittery, doesn't have time to finish things. Drinking, smoking, taking
drugs - medicinal or otherwise - more than usual? Trying to keep up with
other peoples lifestyles?
Stress,
Rage and Anxiety, Overload
These
states can lead to Early Ageing - which
can be described as an internal state of advanced wear and tear. The
rat race.As the body seeks to compete to win, then individuals
find themselves striving harder and harder. Polititions, performance
artists, athletes and speakers are often living on the competitive edge.
Game show competitors experience how far they will go to win. Workers
strive for more recognition, sometimes driving themselves to an early
grave. Sudden fame can catapult someone into a different lifestyle without
time to adjust. Footballers and pop stars are common fodder for the
newspaper headlines.
Or
are they calm, cool-headed, serene and content? What
about computer stress?
Styles
of seeking to control others are described by James Redfield in the
Celestine Prophecy. He suggests that we inerit two points of view and
approaches to life; from our mother and our father. When
people are feeling insecure, anxious, out of control or helpless, then
those states cause people to fall into traps of sterotyped behaviour
either as victim or secretive vague and aloof or interrogator or intimidator.
Assertiveness
- is
about how you use your own power to control others - whether you give
it away, whether you use it to violate others, or whether you use it
constructively and assertively with respect.
Being
able to express your needs, preferences and feelings in a manner that
is neither threatening or punishing to others
Inclined
to act bold, having or showing courage without undue fear or anxiety
Without
violating the rights of others
It is a means of direct, honest communication between individuals interacting
equally and taking responsibility for themselves.
Non
assertiveness - victim stance - poor me
-
Do
you have difficulty standing up for yourself
-
Are you voluntarily relinquishing responsibility for yourself
-
Do you invite persecution by being in the role of victim or martyr
-
Are you inclined to act timid, helpless
Aggressiveness
- rage war - hostile - hurtful - suspicious all the time
-
Do
you stand up for your rights in such a way that the rights of others are
violated in the process
-
Are you being self enhancing at the expense of putting down or humiliating
others
-
Are you inclined to act in a hostile way
-
Manipulation
is an indirect form of aggression - it includes subterfuge, trickery,
seduction and subtle forms of revenge
-
More
primitive is annihilation - which can be described as a formal act of
putting an end to hope
How
do you get your own way? One way is to learn about yourself as an individual,
how you are now and how you can change your behavior. It is not about
changing the behavior of others, though a change in you may open up
new choice for the people you are interacting with. It is not about
changing the organization or changing society. To achieve change at
these levels; the individual will need to join with others to develop
appropriate strategies.
Reduction
of wear and tear is possible with modern technology and knowledge. Research
shows people are living longer. On the other hand stress shows in organizations
and society as an increase in accidents, illness and diseases such as cancer
and heart attacks. Relaxation can be described as a state of release from
anxiety and muscle tension related to peace of mind, rest and healing. Sometimes
relaxation needs to be learned.
copyright
©1999-2002
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